Remember the Yesterday
by Kircheise
Summary: The past cannot be changed, erasen or forgotten - It can be only accepted. But why it isn't so easy as it sounds...? (My own interpretation of ViTri's story of their childhood/past. Virus POV mostly. Rating may change.)
1. Chapter 1

_**CHAPTER 1**_

"Do you remember...your childhood, Virus?"

I shifted my gaze from book and glanced at false blond next to me. Trip was gazing at ceiling, watching fly that was circling around lamp. I just sighed and continued reading. But he didn't give up - looks like his mind didn't want to drop this subject so fast.

"I was wandering... If we weren't there... Maybe we wouldn't meet in this life."  
"That's possible."  
"Maybe we would live happy lives with our families, siblings..."  
Pause.

"Hey, Virus..."  
"Hm?"  
"... You've never told me anything. About your life back then. I don't remember. But-..."

"I don't remember anything." Quick, sharp answer. I put book away and took off glasses, rubbing my eyes. "And anyway I'm not obligated to give out a personal information to person, who has nothing to do with me."

Trip gave me a long glare. It wasn't angry nor hurt. Completely calm. Then he nodded.  
"Yeah. You're right." He shifted and took his things from floor. "Good night, Virus."  
"...Good night." I mumbled and turned my back on him. I heard click and doors closed. I was alone. I sighed and put blanket over my head and curled to ball.

 _'Maybe we would live happy lives with our families...'_

I closed my eyes.

Children around me were cheerfully chatting. All of them were wearing white shirts, blueish pants and collars - each of them had a number. How could I know? I was about to become a part of this huge mass.  
I glanced at woman beside me, who called herself 'my mother'.  
We were never close. Even though she was always smiling and pretending interest. After my father died, she became really distant, always locking herself in room or going out for long walks, leaving her child behind. I felt ... Alone. But eventually got used to it. After a while, it even felt RIGHT - I couldn't imagine discussion between me and her anymore. Even when we were sitting next to each other, we felt like two parts of different world. And even though I didn't want to admit it - It was crushing me down like rocks, falling down on me mercilessly.  
Of course, I've tried so hard to steal some of her attention - I was child after all. When I was seven and all of those sad things happened, I was always following her, hugging her - _"are you okay, mommy?"_ here; " _are you okay, mommy?"_ there. My childish mind believed that it will cure her and she will smile like on the other days. No - It just went down the hill... On my 9th birthday, she just packed her things and left our house for a week. It hurt and I was just hopeless child left behind to take care of myself - but luckily, she left the fridge full so I made it. After a week she came back more devastated than ever before - drunk, crying, dirty... - even looking at her was a psychically killing the child inside of me.  
And then, that day came. After so long, she smiled. But well - not at me. At her Coil. And from that day, she started to slowly regain her life energy and light in her eyes.  
At that moment I thought: _"It's back. It will be okay."_ It was a gentle lie. My and her relationship died - and we are not in the PC game to revive a things that are broken, shattered and killed.  
Mom started to go out with quite nice and handsome man. He lived in district above Midorijima - in Platinum Jail. It was a luxurious part, where you couldn't go unless you had invitation. Of course, she's got one from him. And soon, with a blink of an eye, we were moving from here. And on my 11th birthday, a celebration and happiness came. No my birthday - that woman was pregnant. Her shining eyes, his big smile - _"Darling, look, we will be finally a real family!"_  
...That was when I became an adult.

He said, he was working in Toue's Company and all the time, he was absolutely fascinated by the man that gave him a work - even my mother became like that - they were worshipping him like some kind of god. I didn't care and I always got yelled at. And also when I refused to call that man a 'father'.

I became a mistake in their happy family life.  
And soon... I was passing doors to the living room. I need to go to toillet but it was something after midnight so I tried to be silent. They were there, watching some kind of shitty soup opera.  
"Darling, I don't want to hurt your feelings but in my oppinion your son is... Indocile. He refuses authority, he does whatever he wants. He doesn't care about us. Isn't it true? Look, I work in facility... They are searching for children and-"

I knew what was comming but I couldn't help it.  
And for the first time in forever, when I returned to my bedroom, I cried.  
Because I knew HER answer.

"I will take him there tomorrow."

 _Happy 12th Birthday._

"Don't worry, you will find new friends, learn new things. It will be better for you, believe me." She crouched next to me and fixed my shirt and hair. I was just gazing down, not moving at all. "You are here to help a research! Remember that! It's important role and there are only few chosen. Me and your dad are very proud of you."

 _Lies, lies, lies..._

"Hmmm..."  
"I gave your things to one of researchers, they said you are gonna get them after medical examinations and registration. Just don't forget to politely ask for them. Okay."  
She stood up and sighed. "We will visit you."

 _...and more lies._

"Okay...mom." I felt a pat on my head and then... She was gone. Forever.  
The door behind me opened and an old looking person invated me inside. They checked me, made me a blood tests, look at my eyes and ears. I had to fill some psychotests even.  
"How old are you?"  
"12, sir." I said calmly.  
"Well, young man, you are pretty clever even thought you are only a little child. Results like this are pretty rare - and now I speak also about adults." Doctor showed me papers. "The only thing that bothers me... You didn't write down your name. I thought you forgot but other things from personal information section are filled." He looked at me interested. "Do you have name?"  
I looked away and nodded. Of course, I had.  
"What is it?"  
But...

 _She gave it to me..._  
 _She wanted to get a rid of me..._  
 _She didn't want to have memoried with me...of me..._  
 _She just wanted to erase me._

...So i will erase it all - delete memories, feeling towards her - my whole past. Burn it down... Same as...

"...Virus."

 _ **To be continued...**_


	2. Chapter 2

"Look, new one!"  
When I stepped to the dining-hall, all of the children gathered around me. Their curious faces didn't surprise me - we couldn't go out unless doctors and researches took us for walk. It was strictly prohibited and since children are easily scared by harsh words and threats of punishment, it meant two things:  
 ** _1) You couldn't run away._**  
 ** _2) You happily waited for anything new and interesting to happen._**  
Now that thing was me.

"How old are you?"  
"...12."  
"What's your name?"  
"Virus..."  
Simple questions, simple answers. I sat behind table with others and took my meal. I could expect that it was going to be something nutritious and good tasting- they wanted us healthy. You cannot use a sick and broken individual for tests - it would give you just the worst results. And that's unwanted. Unwanted were going to be put away. Sad truth to learn.

"Hey... " I glanced at person next to me. Dark haired boy was smiling at me - he could be few years older - maybe 15? "You are new here, right?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I arrived today."  
"I see... Are you from orphanage?" He asked me silently, still smiling. I stopped eating. Orphanage? No - I'm from happy family where only one problem was. **WAS.** Something painful squeezed my heart and I frowned.  
I didn't want to tell him. He asked that probably because he was from orphanage as other children here. They got here because they didn't have anyone, not because they were unneeded. I nodded and smiled at him.

"Something like that."

"... Are you afraid?"

Huh? No "nice to meet you, my name is..." ?

"No. I'm not."

"Usually, new ones are afraid. You don't have to be. Researches are actually nice sometimes. Just don't anger them. Same goes with doctors." He smiled. "Okay, little one?"

I frowned. "I'm not little!"

He chuckled. "Of course not. Just teasing you. If you have a problem, you can ask me."

"...sure."

I was surprised, for the first time in long time - someone actually cared. And it was not pretending I so much hate. Believe me, I could recognize lies - I lived with them for 12 years. For the very little moment I believed that it's gonna be fine.

I was so so naive.

* * *

"Number 0952!"

"Here."

I was sitting next to black haired guy I got to know the first day. I became a friend with him. He was older, intelligent and nice. Other children liked him too. Maybe some kind of 'big brother type'? I could easily describe him like that. I got to know other children thanks to him and in the end I didn't mind so much being a part of mass. It felt nice sometimes - almost family like. I could feel that children inside of me was slowly returning.  
Well. Just to fade away again.

I checked his collar. Really, his number? But what did they want from him? It was past examinations hour, so...  
I curiously looked at doctor.

"Can you accompany me for a while?" Researcher asked.

"Yes, sir, of course." He lifted from ground where we were sitting and smiled. "See you in the evening, Virus." He waved me and left with other man.

I frowned. I didn't like this at all. Why did they want to speak to him? Okay, maybe some problems appeared... Or he forgot something. Maybe...  
In the evening, when everyone was gathered in the dining-hall, he returned.

Pale, trembling, but... Smiling.  
He sat next to me and patted my head.

"Hey, Virus. How was your day?"  
"...I just made my homework." We had school here just like any other normal children. But that wasn't important.

He was hiding something. "What did they want from you?"

There was a silence.  
"...what would you do if someone told you that you are going to be the most important part of the future that is yet to come?"

My eyes widened and I shook my head.

"I... "

"That you are going to be the first. The one to lead?"

"I wouldn't believe."  
"Oh yes, you would, trust me. Everyone left alone wants to hear a words like that." he whispered. "From the bottom of your heart you want to be the one in the bright light of reflectors. Each one here. You would agree immediately to whatever they proposed to you. And then... After then you realize what a mistake you made. Too late. And usually there isn't a way back."

I paled and clutched my fists.

"Look after yourself, okay?" he patted my back.  
"...what?!" I shoot him shocked look.

"Don't let yourself to get hurt." He smiled at me. But... His eyes were cold. He was thinking about something else. Something hidden in the darkest corners of his mind. This wasn't the face I knew. I wanted to ask him but I understand he wouldn't answer me any different. I just nodded.

* * *

"He didn't make it."  
"Really? What has happened?"  
"He lost too much of blood. And the system crushed during operation. Doctors weren't able to revive him after."  
"So 0952 is out?"  
"Yes."

Do you know what is ironic? If you find out about things like these, the things that are changing your life always the same way. Secretly, just by a coincidence.

I lost another part of me.

* * *

From that day, I tried to take his place. To look after others - same as I did when I was 7 with my mom. "Are you okay" here and there. But soon, I realized that these things hurt my self more and more.  
Children were disappearing one by one. The one I knew, the new ones.

 _ **"Don't let yourself to get hurt."  
**_

His words resonated in my head.

If you don't want to get hurt, you cannot think of others. It means, you can't have someone dear. Don't focus on your emotions towards people next to you. Don't make a contact. No relationships -no painful feelings. Right?

My mind was constantly telling me this and in the end, I came to conclusion that it was right.  
I made a bubble around myself. No one could go into my personal space.  
And really. When I had nothing to do with children in the facility, their deaths were not so important.

I became cold individual.

 _So nothing could hurt me and no one could force yourself into my personal space._

At least that is what I was thinking.

 _ **To be continued...**_


End file.
